However, humans being humans we sometimes get ourselves stuck in a rut. Our hearts are easily swayed and we can fall in love with anything, anyone and at anytime – if we are not careful.
The easiest way to guard yourself is to follow the Sunnah. Simple and pure. That is the Hikmah of Islam…
Surah 2; Ayah 223 – Holy Qur’an.
As Muslims, we should guard ourselves against immorality and control our own desires.
“Mankind was created weak.”
[Soorah an-Nisaa’: 28]
Sufyaan ath-Thawree was asked about this ayah:
How is man weak?
“A woman will pass by a man and he cannot restrain himself from looking at her although there is no benefit from it. What could be weaker than this?”
If you think about it: every relationship/marriage began with simply one thing: a look. Nothing extraordinary, no roses, no gifts, sometimes not even a smile, but a look. Hence why, Islam closes that door, Islam protects you and honors you by telling the believing men and the believing women to lower their gaze…
There is no doubt that male/female relationships and/or friendships are haram. Allah says in Surah al-Isra’ 17:32:
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.”
It can happen to anyone, you or me. Even those in blissful, loyal, happy marriages are not exempt. Autho Billah! Even Prophet Yusuf (AS) one of the best… came close to committing Zina. Certainly the strength of Yusuf’s sincerity [عليه سلم] was stronger than the beauty of Azeez’s wife, stronger than her allure, and his want for her.
Ibn Hazm said :
ربما ساعة واحدة من الإهمال قد تدمر قيمتها سنوات من الجهد تقی
“Perhaps one hour of neglect may destroy a years worth of pious effort.
And Allah says in surah Al-Furqan 25:68-69
“And those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated.”
Halal relationships are made halal – for you. Allah is trying to save you wasted time, energy and heartbreak. Love someone for the sake of Allah & Allah will make it last forever. Leave someone for the sake of Allah & He will give you someone better! Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you are choosing someone out of love or loneliness. If someone’s good for you, He’ll bring you together – no matter how far they are. Remember that.
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.
People may easily fall for you, when they see the pretty part of you –
Like your smile, your appearance, your humour, your beauty, your confidence and all that.
But less people would be able to love you when they see the other side of you.
The broken you.
The helpless you.
The unreasonable you.
“Our Sustainer! Grant us the coolness of our eyes from our spouses and children, and make us leaders of the pious.”
Surah 25; Ayah 74 – Holy Qur’an.
I’m not advising you to cut off your relationship, speaking from experience I can tell you good things can come from two people who do not share the same faith, religion or background however this is the exception: not the rule.
Protect yourself and do not be afraid of marriage… do it for you and for the sake of Allah.
When I tell you
to grab your life
with your own two hands
I am trying to say that
Allah has gifted them to you
for another reason
wiping your tears.