The most important, fundamental attribute in a man should be his Love for Allah and His fear of Allah. Before anything else, this is the most important trait you will ever find in a good man.
If he is following the Sunnah of our Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allāhu ʿalay-hi wa-sallam) to the best of his ability he will surely treat you well with dignity, honor and respect.
This doesn’t mean he won’t make mistakes, after all he is human and we are surrounded with Fitnah but this is where your part comes in. If he is angry, you have to be calm. When one is fire, the other should be water. – Umar Ibn Al-Khattab.
He is the leader of the household, he will be asked for his family including his wife and children. He has the responsibility of maintaing his family and ensuring they are looked after. He should inspire you within the deen and lead by example. He cannot expect to have a pious wife and well mannered children if he himself is praying lazily and not going to the Mosque…
His love for his Deen will rub off on you, perhaps subconsciously, and make you want to do more. Pray more, fast more, give more charity, be more positive, learn more, dress better… there are endless ways to show your passion and love for Allah (swt) but if your husband is not playing the part you can guarantee that it will affect you.
Likewise, you can also inspire him, ask him questions, ask him about the prophet, how he feels when he prays, let him teach you about the Deen (men are literal creatures and love to help us when in need…) Most importantly! Never give up… If he’s not praying, committing sins and lost his path I wouldn’t suggest divorce and look for someone better. Even the most lost soul can find his way back to Allah in sha Allah. If we all started out perfect, we wouldn’t go anywhere worth going therefore, he might need a reality check and some inspiration to start practicing Islam again. Allah knows Best.
Remind yourself, or your husband that, your sins are not greater than Allah’s MERCY! For Allah said, “Indeed Allah forgives all sins.” [39:53]
When you wake up to pray Fajr together, when you listen to your husband recite Qur’an, when life throws bricks at you but you don’t feel them because your husband has your back 100% – that’s when you know you’ve met the one. When you finally understand how marriage is in Islam is the other half of your Deen.