Stop talking trash about other people.
In Islam, gossiping (Gheebah) is one of the major sins. Most people are unaware and do it on a daily, despite fasting, praying and Worshipping. Let’s not waste our good deeds and control our tongues.
“O you who have attained to faith! Avoid most guesswork [about one another] – for, behold, some of [such] guesswork is [in itself] a sin; and do not spy upon one another, and neither allow yourselves to speak ill of one another behind your backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would loathe it! And be conscious of God. Verily, God is an acceptor of repentance, a dispenser of grace!” – Surah 49 Ayah 12;Holy Qur’an.
Even if what you are saying about your sister/brother is actually true – it’s not your right to spread his/her business.
If you are prone to gossip, or you recently spoke bad about someone – first of all, you’re not the worst human in the world, you just made a mistake.
And we all do. Every human, shaykh, scholar… all of us are flawed.
It can be hard to break a lifetime of habits. It can be hard to bite your tongue when you want to snap. It can be hard to ignore the one testing your patience. It can be hard to smile at the one who is frowing at you. Life can be hard.
If you make a mistake, pick yourself up, Turn to Allah. “You alone we Worship and You alone we seek Help.” Go to Him, ask Him for Help. Don’t just say it in your prayer, do it every time you fall. He will pick you up. His Mercy will make you feel better. You will never be the perfect person, or the perfect Muslimah, and this life is not about perfection.
It’s about Jihad. Not giving up.
When we choose growth over perfection, we immediately increase our shame resilience. Improvement is a far more realistic goal than perfection. Merely letting go of unattainable goals makes us less susceptible to shame. When we believe “we must be this” we ignore who or what we actually are, our capacity and our limitations. We start from the image of perfection, and of course, from perfection there is nowhere to go but down.
– Brené Brown.
If the person you spoke about found out you should approach them and apologise. Allah will not forgive you until the person has forgiven you.
Perhaps, you haven’t spoken about someone but someone else spoke about someone to you. Sound familiar?
Even listening to backbiting is a sin.
Prophet Muhammad (saw) once said to Imam Ali: O Ali! When someone hears the backbiting of his Muslim brother committed in his presence, yet he does not rally to his assistance despite being capable of doing so, God shall humiliate him in the world and in the Hereafter.
My dear heart
never think you are better than others
listen to their sorrows with compassion
If you want peace
don’t harbour bad thoughts
do not gossip
and don’t teach what you do not know